What to write about???

What should I write about? Guess my brain is having one continuous fart tonight! Ah, that's it, I can talk about FARTS!

Ya know, farts wouldn't be all that bad, except that whenever you have one, it's always when you're in public. Matt's let out quite a number of beauties while sitting on those plastic booths at the fast food joints! Ever heard one of those! Holy Cow, better grab your udders, 'cause you're in for a real treat! Funniest damn thing I've ever heard! Of course, Matt always has a nack for doing it when there's no one else in the place but us (and one of the employees who just so happens to be wiping down tables nearby)! Then, he starts laughing like he's watching a really good show on Comedy Central! Gee hon, think you could make it a little more obvious! I think he figures by laughing, it'll make me look embarrassed, and then people will think it was me!

Have you ever had one of those farts that builds up fast, then sits and does nothing? Talk about a pain (literally!) You try and try, but can't get it out and pretty soon you think your whole intestinal track is going to bust! Then, before you know it, it's gone! No farts. Nothing! It's just gone! So where in the hell did it go? That's one I'll never figure out!

Why is it that husbands think it's so funny to fart under the covers, then either fan the sheets or better yet, shove your head underneath them? Is this some sort thing that must be done before they can really be called a man? After a few years of marriage, you soon realize that you'll never win the war by taking the brunt of things, so you figure if you can't beat them, join them!

Speaking of being married a few years, isn't it fun the way we shut the door and turn on the faucet when we go to the bathroom during the first year or so of marriage? OMG, it would just be the end of the world if they heard what we were doing in there! Like we're the only ones that use the bathroom for it's intended purpose!

Oh, I've got plenty more, but will continue my fart blog (ewww, that sounds gross) later!